Big fun at Neyland Stadium

Accompanied by 107,528 of my closest friends, I went to my first University of Tennessee football game today. I tailgated first with Happy Bachelor Lawyer and several of his friends; that was great fun. After that, I hooked up with Eager Young Law Clerk and his friends. EYLC didn't seem to be terribly amused by my description of how to find me -- "I'm the guy in the orange shirt" -- but everything worked out fine.

College football is Big Fun. This game was no exception. The emotional ride of the crowd, the enthusiasm of the students, and the impressive performance of the band (more on this below), however, did not overcome the fact that demonstrated that perhaps the pre-season hype has overrated the Volunteers. The UAB Blazers (their mascot is a dragon, not a sport utility vehicle) played UT very tough -- and their quarterback, Darrell Hackney, should be going places in the near future. He's smart, fast, and strong.

For a team ranked #3 nationally, The Volunteers looked flat on defense and had several miscues on offense -- including two critical receptions. Perhaps the Volunteers bought in to the hype surrounding them for the past several weeks. But it's clear at this point that they cannot rely on the "Neo-in-the-Matrix" strategy of winning games. If a smaller program like UAB -- admittedly, one which apparently deserves a lot more respect than it got before today's game -- can keep UT on the ropes like this, I wonder how well the Vols will stand up to real challenges in Gainesville and Red Stick. It may be time for UT to give up some delusions of grandeur and concentrate on some basics like tackling and running routes.

With that said, I must add that Neyland Stadium on game day is an amazing sight to behold. The stadium has a stated capacity of 102,544 fans. However, today there was an announced attendance of more than five thousand more than that. Each and every person in the stands was wearing orange and white. It was a sea of orange out there.

And the band was quite good, too. Our friend Pam is in the band, and they put on quite an impressive halftime show. The choreography that is involved with one of those shows is astonishing -- the variety of formations the band could move from was quite impressive, especially considering they were also playing classical music while they were moving. Most impressive was the final formation, the UT logo with the numbers "17" and "94" on either side of the logo indicating the year of the University's founding. When I speak with Pam next, I'll ask her where in that formation she was, because I couldn't really see anyone's face from the upper tier.

It feels like it's been a while since I had Big Fun like that, although I know that's not true. I have fun all the time, with The Wife and friends. But I guess it has been a while since I was at a big event, or at least a fun one.

Self-Distraction

Okay, I really can't think any more about how awful the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina is. There's big things afoot at the office and I need to prepare myself to respond accordingly. There's big activity in several of my cases and I need to deal with them. I'm not getting enough sleep at night again and one of the reasons I've been willing to take a subordinate position at a firm here in Tennessee after having founded my own back in California was so that I could have less stress, not more. I'm still not happy with the prospect of spending the rest of my professional life doing medical malpractice and auto torts (*yawn*) and less happy about what appears to be the inevitable prospect of moving to an eat-what-you-kill compensation scheme. I no longer have the taste for that kind of personal financial risk.

So that means I'm going to give some thought to football. In the last preseason game of this season, my team played for a very flat, uninspiring victory against the Flaming Thumbtacks of Nashville. Granted, # 4 (all hail) is more than a little bit distracted by the fact that his permanent home, as well as those of much of his immediate family, have been severely damaged (Kiln, Mississippi is not far from Gulfport, and would have been badly hit Monday night). But the Thumbtacks' starting quarterback is from southern Mississippi too, and both men found a way to function in their respective series. (Serieses?)

No, the problem is that the receivers aren't in sync with the rest of the offense, the offensive line is once again questionable, and after two months of training and a month of pre-season games to get in shape, the head coach is still suggesting that the defense needs more training, practice, and development. Yikes. Defense wins championships -- just ask the Patriots, Ravens, and Buccaneers.

At some point this weekend I'll have to sit down and think pretty hard about what I'd like my fantasy team to look like. We'll be drafting on Thursday night, right before (and possibly during) the Oakland game.

But probably not on Saturday. Happy Bachelor Lawyer and I are planning on going to the UAB game Saturday. I've been to college football games several times before, and they are big fun. In many ways, more fun than the NFL games I've been to. The local heroes are nationally-ranked at #3, and what should be the two toughest games will be behind the team by October (and I ain't talkin' 'bout no dragons). So it ought to be an exciting season for college ball, too.

Vindicating Gavin Newsom

Perhaps this isn't as important as the aftermath of Katrina. Perhaps this isn't the most important issue facing our society today. Certainly, a lot of opponents of this idea get really upset about it and have a difficult time rationally defending their point of view. But damnit, it's just plain the right thing to do. Here's hoping the Assembly has as much in the cajones department as the Senate. Here's hoping that the embattled Governor won't exercise his veto.

Normalcy Guilt

I've been blogging on the fate of New Orleans for some time now, in part because it seems wrong to be concerned about anything else while so many people are suffering so badly, and in part because the extent of the disaster is fascinating and terrible to behold. But the fact of the matter is, I have had plenty of other things on my mind, too.

For two days, it's been non-stop action for me -- logging more than 200 miles on the car in a day driving around very inefficient routes to satisfy my various responsibilities; depositions and tracking down information for experts; grading and teaching classes; trying to find quality time to spend with my wife and my critters; getting paid and paying my bills; and tonight, enjoying clear skies to see the conjunction of Venus and Jupiter, and later to look for the double star Albiero (at the west end of Cygnus). In short, I've been living my own life pretty normally all week.

In fact, the skirts of the hurricane that went through here was pretty much a big thunderstorm, nothing really remarkable. It blew some lawn chairs across the deck and knocked over my barbeque. Big deal. Katrina has not affected me directly and personally in any way. It has only indirectly affected me in that I'm now paying nearly a dollar more for a gallon of gas than I did a week ago, thanks to a largely unnecessary panic over petroleum supplies.

I feel a little bit guilty about this. It takes someone with less empathy and self-awareness than a wet Hefty bag to look at the television and see the surreal, horrifying images from New Orleans, and compare that to one's own normal, relatively comfortable life filled with everyday, normal cares, pleasures, and comforts. My personal needs for food, clothing, shelter, clean water, electricity, and cash flow are being met. At least a million Americans can no longer say that. I want to do something that will help them. But, I can't take time to travel to the Delta and donate my time and labor; indeed, with gas prices being gouged out of control, I need to stay and provide for my family's immediate financial needs more than ever. That, and I'm not too keen on getting shot by a looter. Besides, the only suggestions that I've heard being made for how to help are to give money to a charity like the Red Cross.

Now, recall that the Wife and I are trying to save money to buy a house of our own. Still, so many people have no homes or shelter of any kind -- and I don't know if we should give some of our money to help out those in much, much greater need than us. It would set our plans back a little bit, and if we take some money from our savings out for that, then we'll do it again for something else next week, and then do it again the week after that, and pretty soon, all the savings will be gone and our money won't have made a huge difference in the world anyway. So yes, we must be disciplined with our own money.

The essence of good moral behavior is to act as though one's own actions were being used as the model for rules of universal application. (Yes, I know that this is pretty much Kant's categorical imperative and I don't apologize for that at all.) Consider how ought others to act, and then act that way yourself. It seems to me that I want others to help out people in need because if I were in need, I would need the help myself. So I should help out those in need now.

So I've not made a financial donation to any of the many good causes trying to help (yet), because I'm not feeling very financially secure now when I take a long-view look at our situation, and I'm not yet willing to break the savings discipline that The Wife and I are hoping will make that long-term outlook brighter. I'm making good money now, but that can change at any time and I'm not feeling particularly secure about the employment situation at the firm. I wish things were more secure for us, because then I wouldn't even hesitate to make a financial contribution to try and provide some relief.

State of Nature

Hobbes would recognize what is happening in New Orleans right now. There is no government of any kind. There is no order. There is only chaos, suffering, and death. Snipers are killing people outside of hospitals, for no apparent reason, preventing the hospitals from being evacuated.

Not that there are any evacuations going on. FEMA has suspended rescue operations from the city due to the violence that has erupted there. Where is the military? The National Guard is out in force after every major event in California that potentially could lead to violence; whether it was a riot, an earthquake, a high-profile verdict, or a 50-Cent concert.

No one is taking away the dead; corpses are left to rot in the sweltering heat and humidity out in the remains of the waterlogged city, or gradually float down to the river, there to come ashore at random points and deposit the ghastly remains of victims of the hurricane. Cholera, typhoid, dysentery, malaria, and who knows what other kinds of third-world diseases are going to break out in an American city, because the survivors are all waist-deep in water becoming befouled by rotting corpses and raw sewage. The former city that is now Lake New Orleans resembles nothing so much as Bangladesh.

It is sickening and frightening to think that all of the glittering technology, profound social and political ideals, and accumulated wealth that makes us Americans feel smug and confident of our place as masters of the world can be so quickly wiped away -- and leave us, as we see in New Orleans, behaving like creatures out of the state of nature.

It's all about the beer

Hey, there, buddy! Are you suddenly homeless and without any possessions but the clothes on your back, waist-deep in water, with the prospect of another nine to twelve feet flooding into your city over the next twenty-four hours?

Have you been given not one, but now three, mandatory evacuation orders by the mayor of your city, and the governor of your state? Are you currently under martial law?

Have you decided to loot stores anyway?

If so, remember to take what's really important. Go for the imports this time!

You know, back in Los Angeles, when we had riots, the looters took TV's and other high-end electronics to fence when things calmed down. But, I suppose this is still New Orleans we're talking about, and the looters there will prioritize their raids accordingly.

Day of Stress

Today's agenda:

1. Drop off The Wife at her job in West Knoxville;
2. Go to allergist's office in Middle Knoxville for first round of shots, discover that I've gone to wrong office;
3. Go to correct office in Maryville;
4. Get injected with known allergens and wait half an hour for systemic reaction that never happens;
5. Drive back to office in downtown Knoxville;
6. Learn about friend from New Orleans (he's OK; he evacuated to Shreveport but is considering not going back to New Orleans because there's nothing to go back to);
7. Prepare mandatory expert designation; grouse about how unfair it is to have to disclose experts a month before the defendants do and how much more sense simultaneous disclosures would make;
8. Meet with other clients to break bad news;
9. Go to dentist in West Knoxville;
10. Go to hospitalized relative's house in Maryville to care for her pets;
11. Pick up The Wife from job in West Knoxville;
12. Drop off The Wife at The Estate at Louisville;
13. Return to downtown Knoxville;
14. Have business dinner set up by The Great Man with a lawyer from Atlanta somewhere in downtown Knoxville;
15. Return to The Estate at Louisville;
16. Grade papers to turn student feedback around in time to turn in grades and be paid in next pay cycle.

Total estimated mileage: 14,583 miles.

So you can see I've got a lot on my plate here.

Actual student comments

The online business law class I've just finished teaching had twelve students. Five of them, from all over the spectrum of performance, took time to write notes to me on their final exams. For privacy reasons, I've eliminated their names, but otherwise their responses are here in full:

1. TL, please find attached my final exam. I would also like to thank youfor an excellent learning experience. Your dedication to your professionwas evident through your teachings and responses to members of thisclass. Best wishes for success in your business as well.(and, I still think Gilligan deserved more than what Team B was willingto settle for:)Best, [name].

2. TL, Attached is my final exam. I hope that I did much better on this than the past couple, especially the last one. [¶] I do not know what it is, I think it is psychological because I panic when I hear or see an exam or test of any kind. I know it is not because I do not know the material because you could sit here and verbally ask me and I would know the answer. Something that I need to personally work on. [¶] With that said, let me take a little more of your time. I just wanted to thank you for everything. I did not think that I was going to enjoy this class as much as I have. There was a lot of reading but it was well worth it. I feel that I have gained more knowledge in this class, than all of the classes that I have taken thus far. I have to compliment you on your facilitation of this class. None of the facilitators of the classes that I have taken thus far have been as involved with their students as you have. For this, I greatly thank you. Your responses to our questions or posts were phenomenal and the stories you told were very informative. It just shows me that you really care about your students and you really want them to learn and walk away from your class with knowledge. [¶] Thank you again.

3. TL..Here is my final test. I was only fuzzy with a couple questions (kind of tricky especially #20). I want you to know that my goal was to Ace it and hopefully I succeeded -who knows?? I would like to say thank you for all of the information on business law, I can honestly say I enjoyed this class very much. Thanks again and good luck to you .

4. I was unable to fix my Excel application, so I'm once again sending you my assignment in a word file! :) [¶] Thank you for an exciting class - I've really enjoyed it. [¶] Thanks again and good luck! :)

5. TL, Here is my week 5 test. [¶] Thanks for a great class, [name]

Granted, the last two might be a little perfunctory, but I really appreciate the sentiment from my students, because I care about doing a good job. At least three of them took the time to write these nice notes. I do put a lot of effort into my classes, and for the reason that they've noted -- I want them to really learn something.

Will Atlantis Rise Again?

I just read that the Lake Pontchartrain levee in New Orleans broke. This is seriously bad news. It could easily flood the entire northern part of the city; reports are that 80% of the city was under flood before the breach as it was. News reports from the Crescent City are surprisingly sketchy, although there are gruesome reports of bodies floating in the water. CNN is runing this photograph of a house in Mississippi, pushed off its foundations into the nearby road by the force of the hurricane.

Yesterday, when cancelling the depositions in Louisiana, I spoke to a man who I think lives in Lafayette. He said with much bravado that "We get blasted every few years; we're used to it down here!" It sounded eerily like the way Californians talk about earthquakes -- most of them are insignficiant, and building codes are such that medium-sized ones cause little noticeable damage. But a big one will cripple the area it strikes, and there's no getting used to something like that. Perhaps a smaller hurricane would have caused only localized damage, but this is something else entirely; the entire eastern Mississippi delta is a disaster area.

I'm reminded of the legend of Atlantis -- a glittering city of wealth and decadence, suddenly and catastrophically submerged under the sea. Many believe the ancient legend is a distortion of a historical catastrophe at Santorini. Surely New Orleans will find a way to dig itself out of the water and muck and maybe this will wash away the perpetual stench arising from the French Quarter. But I think the Saints will be playing at LSU this year.

I don't think I'm flying to Louisiana tomorrow

You ever hear the phrase "You can't get there from here?" That's pretty much what we're all saying about Southwest Louisiana.

If I'm reading this right, right about the time I need to be in the air, Katrina will be centered near the Mississippi-Alabama-Tennessee border point. Thanks but no thanks, my idea of a good time does not involve flying directly into a hurricane. Below is a track of what my approximate flightpath from Knoxville to Lake Charles would be, and Katrina's current position:

Things look pretty grim for New Orleans right about now. The eye of the storm is about thirty miles east of the center of the city. I didn't realize so much of New Orleans is below sea level -- and the storm surge is predicted to be ten feet higher than the levees. Also, CNN is reporting a rumor that the Superdome is leaking (it's just a rumor as of the time I'm publishing, so no link) and tens of thousands of people have sought shelter in the Superdome.

I have acquaintance, a good friend of my former law partner, who practices criminal law in New Orleans. Here's hoping he's okay.

It's dinner time!

Not to brag, but I really outdid myself for dinner tonight. My roasted chicken turned out perfect -- the meat practically fell off the bone, and stayed juicy and flavorful. Brining the bird had a lot to do with it. I also made apple stuffing from scratch. The Wife loved it and we have about a pound of meat left over from a tender young fryer. A serviceable Pinot Bianco went well with the food while we sat on our outdoor screened porch and enjoyed the fact that the summer heat has broken by virtue of our weekend-long position underneat the cloud skirt surrounding Hurricane Katrina, currently moving towards Louisiana (where, oddly enough, I have to go on Tuesday). But I've had enough vino and good food that for the time being, I'm content to let the hurricane go where it's going to go and adopt a zen attitude about my upcoming trip.

Movie Review: Pterodactyl

When you're in the mood for cheesy science fiction, made-for-Sci-Fi-Channel movies never disappoint. This Saturday night's premiere, Pterodactyl, certainly fit the bill. My review contains spoilers. What's the point of trying to keep "plot" details secret from my Loyal Readers with a movie like this?

The first thing to understand about the movie is that it contains a vanity for science fiction geeks. Since I caught this, I suppose that qualifies me as a science fiction geek, too. See, all the characters are named for famous science fiction writers. The list of names I caught included H.P. Lovecraft, Rod Serling, Arthur C. Clarke, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Roger Zelazny, David Kemper, and Connie Willis, and last but certainly not least, Robert A. Heinlein.

Cameron Daddo (yes, I had to look him up, too; he's mainly done a lot of TV in Australia and later here in the States) plays a paleontology professor, desparate to publish, who journeys to the dangerous Turkish-Armenian border (which looks suspiciously like Northern California), along with graduate student and love interest Amy Sloan (yes, I had to look her up, too, and it turns out she had small roles in The Day After Tomorrow and The Aviator) and four loser undergraduates to go dig up bones. They are attacked by -- of course -- pterodactyls, whose eggs have been released by recent earthquake and volcanic activity and are now flying through the skies searching for food, preying on the local inhabitants.

Already down by one undergraduate who had "early victim" practically tattooed on his forehead, the college group crosses paths with an under-strength Delta Force unit led by a bald and therefore difficult-to recognize Coolio. (Yes, that Coolio.) They capture a "rebel" leader and then run across the civilians, who have already been attacked by the movie's eponymous monsters. Another student, and several soldiers, become dino-food, and we're off to the races. Eventually, the three lead actors are the only survivors and they concoct a daring plan to rescue one of their number from the clutches of the terrible pterodactyls.

A word about monsters. In a monster movie, the monsters should be scary. In a movie where the monsters are dinosaurs, again, the dinosaurs ought to be scary. These CGI dinosaurs are, um, not scary. They elicit chuckles and guffaws. Perhaps the reason for this is their inconsistent size. The papier-mache talons that grab at one of the characters are laughably fake-looking and obviously not in scale to the CGI image on screen. In fact, they are strangely mute -- these monsters make no noise at all. Nor do they use the tools at their disposal -- despite having long beaks, they do not jab or stab at their intended prey. On the plus side, they do have an ability to swoop down on their human victims and slice them cleanly in half while having automatic military weapons fired directly at them with astonishingly poor accuracy. This makes for very amusing television.

Also amusing are the obviously poor tactical decisions made by the Delta Force. Okay, you're being hunted by a swarm of hungry pterodactyls, and moving towards their aerie. And, the bad guys have snipers in the woods that have already tried to kill you. So naturally, you're going to walk, straight upright, through the middle of an open field. I know people in the military, and most of them are pretty smart. I'd like to think that in a similar situation, my friends would have the good sense to stay in the forest.

While I'm griping, let me be clear that I understand the convention of using English so that the audience can understand what's going on. Still, I somehow doubted that the Turkish rebels had so fluent a command of the English language that they communicated to each other and their captive sex-slave women in a language other than their native tongue. Every time the "rebels" were on screen, I was thinking, "What, the producers had enough money for CGI dinosaurs but not enough for subtitles?"

Especially worthy of note is never-quite-right acting. Overacting is a hallmark of the "B" monster movie, and Coolio and three other actors are pleasingly way over the top. This turns out to be preferable to the rest of the characters, including the leads, who appear to be robotically incapable of reacting to their circumstances. Seriously, a microwave oven has more emotional range than these actors. "Oh, look. It's a flock of pterodactyls. How interesting! Hmm, and the bad guys are shooting at us even while these dinosaurs are trying to eat us. Wow, it sucks to be me right now. Where's craft services? Oh, yeah, let's take cover!"

Also worthy of note is the behind-the-cameras crew. The director of this fine piece of film is Mark L. Lester, the director of other masterpieces like Commando with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Armed and Dangerous with John Candy, and Stephen King's Firestarter, with Drew Barrymore. The writer is named Mark Sevi and has credits like Dead Men Can't Dance (tagline: "The Cold War just got hot -- time to rock and roll!"), Excessive Force II: Force on Force (starring the amazingly-named Mandingo Warrior, who also worked crew on the star-studded Captain Nuke and the Bomber Boys), and of course the unforgettable Ghoulies IV. In other words, the creative team was working well within their depth here. (I didn't make up a single one of those links or credits. I wish I had, although I would have shrunk from suggesting in public that there actually could be a man who apparently has chosen to go by the name "Mandingo Warrior.")

Look, Sci-Fi Saturday movies do not take themselves seriously. Pterodactyl is some seriously bad cinema. If you're in the mood for it, this is a campy, frivolous, mindless, and quite humorous "B" movie. But you do need to have a taste for some very stinky cheese.

Mars Party

Our friends have suggested that tomorrow night we have a Mars-viewing party. It's ideally timed, seeing as Mars is on his closest approach to Earth until 2023. Reports of Mars being the size of the moon, however, are greatly exaggerated. To the naked eye, he will look like a bright, orange-yellow star. I'm not sure if my telescope will resolve him powerfully enough to see surface features (assuming there isn't another planet-wide dust storm, which sometimes happens there).

But it's been a while since I've seen our friends so I'm happy to use the excuse to get together with them. I'll need to be sure to set the new DVD-R device to record my favorite show, which is on Friday nights, but that shouldn't be a big deal. It'll be fun to have people over and visit with our friends.

"Are we in the Promised Land?" "Not Exactly."

The Wife asked me this morning what I would rather be doing instead of working. I told her, "Wine tasting." "And what about tomorrow, as long as you're dreaming?" "Well, if I'm dreaming, then I'd like to go diving tomorrow. Either coast."

But high-quality wine tasting here in Tennessee, a state with substantially no tradition of grape cultivation and a strong tradition of temperance (there are still dry counties here). There's a few wineries that make Concord wine -- ga-a-a-ack! There's no diving of virtually any quality at all; the state is landlocked and about the best you could hope for would be a clear spring-fed lake or a quarry -- if there's sufficient visibility in a lake dive to see anything at all.

The nearest Trader Joe's is a six-hour drive away. The legal procedures here are screwy. To get anywhere, you need to be a member of a socially conformist church or have a "Daddy." I'm coming to hate the hot, humid summer almost as much as I hated the cold, dry winter -- there's so much humidity that even on a clear night I can't use my telescope to see anything interesting -- it's like trying to see through ten miles of chicken broth. And people here drive scary bad. Maybe statistically speaking, it's better to drive here, but I felt safer on the freeways of Los Angeles than I do on surface streets in Knoxville (for one thing, people are driving slower on L.A. freeways than surface streets here). Politics are more corrupt than the latest round of experiments out at the Body Farm. I haven't even got away from earthquakes.

So what would I rather be doing today? Today, I'd rather be using the newly-gained lottery winnings that I've got a hold of in my fantasy life to get the hell out of Tennessee and move my critters, my stuff, my wife, and myself -- maybe to somewhere like Cambria.

Soapbox: John Kerry is right about something

Today, former Presidential candidate and still sitting Massachusetts Senator John Kerry loudly proclaimed that "America doesn't need 'a second Republican Party'". He's absolutely right: There is already a majority party in the country and the role of the Loyal Opposition is not to echo what those in power say. America needs an opposition party that offers different ideas and solutions to the contry's problems than what the majority party does. That way, the voters can pick and choose what ideas are best for the country as a whole.

Kerry should have taken his own advice a year ago. As it was, his entire campaign for President consisted of him trying to say "Me, too, but more/less/better" to every issue position that the President was able to announce. When your choice is between the GOP and purported liberals masquerading as low-carb Republicans, you may as well go with the real thing.

What the Democrats (as a group) need is threefold: focused core principles, implementable ideas, and ethics. The national Democratic party has proven sadly deficient in all three and it is a measure of voter dissatisfaction with the Republicans, not enthusiasm for Democratic "ideas," that the Democrats did even as well as they did last time around. Republicans know what they stand for -- their vision is not something I particularly believe in, for the most part, but there's a clear vision there and some certainty about what Republicans in government are going to do.

The last Republican to really argue forcefully for the power of liberty and freedom to make society great was Jack Kemp (before he sold out his beliefs to become Bob Dole's running mate in 1996). Since then, no one has bothered to pick up that battlefield standard in any meaningful way. Libertarian-leaning Republicans like myself are becoming very dissatisfied with the status quo and being taken for granted by the rest of the party. We are actively searching for a meaningful repository for our political loyalty.

So hey, Democrats, let me spell this out for you: YOU HAVE A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY HERE. You've got to somehow shed your dysfunctional mental marriage to big-government ideas the same way a battered wife needs to move out of her home. The slogans are right there: "This is still a free country, damnit, and we're going to keep it that way!" "Freedom and security: It's not one or the other." "The government doesn't belong in your bedroom or in your wallet." It's box-office gold, I'm telling you.

But it's not going to happen. I've seen preciesely zero evidence that the Democrats calling the shots on Capitol Hill really even understand what liberty is anymore -- no more than do their Republican colleagues in the legislature, or the craven operatives on Pennsylvania Avenue. They care about winning at any cost and, like Robert Redford's prophetic and dismal Candidate, they haven't a clue what they should do in the unlikely event that they actually get themselves elected to something.

Movie Review: The Score

Right: Frank Oz directs Robert De Niro and Edward Norton, Jr. while filming The Score.

Review contains very minor spoilers.

I really enjoy “smart thief” movies. These are movies where the hero is a thief, or a con man, or some other kind of criminal, and is trying to pull off an elaborate job with all sorts of preparation and intricate steps involved. Usually this involves having other thieves assist with various aspects of the theft, and as we all know, there is no honor amongst thieves, and that makes for a tremendous opportunity for tension and drama between the characters. The Italian Job (also starring Norton) was a very nice remake in this genre recently, and so was Ocean’s Eleven (Ocean’s Twelve was something of a disappointment). The overly-talky Heist (written and directed by David Mamet, what did I expect?) was also a foray into this genre, but it lacked enough thieving action to be really thrilling. Other films borrow from this genre also, perhaps most prominently in recent years Tom Cruise’s Mission: Impossible franchise, which should see a third installment next year.

The Score is a superior version of this kind of movie. It’s got a very high-powered cast: Robert De Niro and Edward Norton, Jr., with smaller roles played by Angela Bassett, and Marlon Brando. There is a lot more talking in the second act of the movie than I would have preferred, but the skill of the actors involved makes this somewhat more endurable. The somewhat unusual setting of the movie in Montreal, is played well. I assume that the movie was shot in Montreal and if so, the location scouts deserve some recognition for finding some really great places for the shots that play up both Montreal’s basic old-world beauty as well as its grittier urban side.

Part of what makes the movie enjoyable is watching the elaborate preparations for the theft; another part is watching the relationship between the thieves develop. The opportunities for tension and conflict abound and in this case, the script plays up the tension between the two lead characters very well – and the actors have the skill to demonstrate how their characters work to submerge their mutual dislike for one another for the sake of pulling off the job.

The movie only confirmed my belief that Edward Norton is one of the best actors working today. He's astonishingly malleable, emotional, and believable. Seein him paired with De Niro makes this a must-see. In theory, pairing these two with Marlon Brando, who some consider to have been the greatest actor in movies ever, would be heaven for lovers of good acting. But, Brando's part is almost a distraction to the plot, and while it's nice that he had a decent swan song, the movie is not about him.

This serious, tense movie was directed by Frank Oz, whose taste in projects usually runs towards the whimsical and comedic. Oz was greatly assisted in his departure from typical form by a generally tight and well-edited script. That’s not to say that there wasn’t some fat along with the meat -- at the end of the day, Brando’s role could have been written out of the movie with no loss to the narrative. And there was some trimming going on -- I wanted to see more of the lovely Angela Bassett and learn more of the back story of her relationship with De Niro’s character; but upon reflection, she had a supporting role and for purposes of this script, less is more for the romantic back story. But the movie is ultimately about Robert De Niro and Edward Norton’s efforts to pull off a daring theft and the focus of the movie is always kept on the theft itself, right where it ought to be.

The Score is well worth a rental, if you've not seen it already.

Yes, I'm ready for some football

I'm ready for some football not only for its inherent worth, but because it's very frustrating watching my other favorite professional team remain stuck in third place in the worst division in baseball. Seriously, if you can't get past the sub-.500 Padres, guys, you need to seriously re-evaluate the way you're doing things.

So, based on this report, it looks like my fellow Packer fans and I are in for another pretty good year, thanks in no small part to the heroic number four. Granted, it's easy to pay too much attention to pre-season games, although ones where the first strings get playing time against each other, like Saturday's preseason game against the Bills, are a bit more meaningful. Wow, am I going to miss Brett when he's gone next year and hopefully this Rogers kid will resemble Carson Palmer more than Ryan Leaf. He seems to be doing OK in the attitude department, so again that's a good start.

I'm also still looking for good sleeper picks for fantasy play, so if any of you Loyal Readers have any suggestions, feel free to let me know. I'm pretty solidly in the Manning-before-Tomlinson camp and the choice seems like a no-brainer to me. But, I'll be happy to hear any explanation of why I would choose to forego picking the man who has proven to be the NFL's most prolific scorer. Now, I'm intrigued by what I read about Buffalo's seemingly insane choice for a starting QB, and maybe it wasn't quite so insane after all, so let me know what you all think about this J.P. Losman kid, too.

Things that make you go "Whaaaa?"

I've recently been given a CD entitled The Application of Chaos Theory and The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle to Tort Negotiation. It seems to be from some sort of plaintiff's support company. Sounds like a bunch of nonsense but maybe I'll give it a try...

[UPDATE at 4:20 p.m.: Well, that was a gigantic load of crap. I want my hour back.]

Perqs of the job

Like everyone else, I find certain aspects of my work unpleasant. Being thrown in the middle of cases, with no background, briefing, and in some cases, no physical file to refer to, is one of them. The Great Man knows (or thinks he knows) what's going on in the case and I'm supposed to pick up all of this knowledge by osmosis and push things through to success. What can I say, I do the best I can.

But there are some advantages. For instance, I can blog before work, or in proximity to my lunchtime, and no one cares. I could probably blog during working hours more than I do, but I do like to try and get my work done during the time I'm in the office.

This afternoon, after sitting through another depo in a case that twenty-four hours ago I hadn't a clue even existed, and which I still am really sketchy about the facts, I got to eat lunch with The Great Man at an exclusive business club on the top floor of the tallest building in Knoxville. All the rich and powerful folks hobnob at the club, including the mayor (who was at the next table) and several attorneys adverse to me in cases I am handling. Good food, too.

The Great Man invited me to take The Wife and maybe some friends up to his mountain cabin in North Carolina some weekend. He even said we could bring the doggies. Maybe when The Wife's current class is done we can take a weekend getaway. Now that there is a lawn service taking care of cutting the grass, I need not feel too guilty about leaving the lawn unattended for several days.

And finally, The Great Man and Son-Of-The-Great-Man have a side business selling fractional ownership in private jets. They keep a pilot on staff and they have three physical airplanes in their possession for demonstration and sales purposes. So it now looks like I will have a private flight from Knoxville to Lake Charles, Louisiana in a couple weeks -- so rather than spending all kinds of time at the airport, I'll be sitting in the co-pilot's seat of a private plane going directly where I need to go, and returning directly home, as soon as I am done. That's a pretty sweet deal, folks.

So, maybe the health insurance sucks and there's no dental plan, but there are some perks. I suppose I should take advantage of them.

Things to do in Louisiana between depositions

I have some depositions in Louisiana at the end of the month. So I did a little web surfing and found some examples of what I have waiting for me down there in the Pelican State. This charming photograph was one of many I found when searching for things to do between depositions and while travelling between Baton Rogue and Lake Charles.

The dead rodents the hunter is holding up are called nutria. They were imported to the U.S. about a century ago from Argentina to raise for fur, but when the bottom fell out of the market for the fur, farmers released them into the wild. Since then they have taken over many of the swamps, bayous, and rivers of the southern states. They are destructive to native vegetation, and Louisiana has put a four-dollar-a-head bounty on them. I saw plenty of websites offering to get visiting hunters licensed and teaching them how to go looking for these critters and explaining how hunting nutria is good, clean, Ah-murc'n fun. Who knows, maybe this is becoming a trendy hobby for yuppie-types in New Orleans. (Somehow I doubt that.)

Now, according to some, nutria make good eats. Here we see the Lady of the Lodge (that would be the Lodge of Louisana) enjoying what appears to be a nutria etouffe after a successful day hunting. "You've got to eat what you kill," or so the hunter's saying goes.

So maybe I'll just find a bar and watch a baseball game instead. I've already learned how to eat crawdads so I feel like I've done quite a bit of reaching out to Cajun culture. Since it appears likely I may only need to be there for one day right now, all this research may be for nothing (but you, my Loyal Readers, get to enjoy some first-rate photographs because of it).