October 18, 2005

Small barbs penetrate deep

We try and we try and we try. Well, the Wife and I do, anyway. But sometimes, it's not easy for even two people who love each other to get along well. The Wife made a comment tonight that really put me in a funk. She apologized for it and I don't think she meant to be malicious, she was just annoyed. But I guess it hit me at a bad time, and so even the nice banana bread she brought me to eat while I was teaching my class only went so far towards making me feel better. (Getting pulled over for a fix-it ticket on the way home tonight wasn't a real big mood-booster, either.)

It's amazing, how a relatively small thing can sting so much when it comes at exactly the right time. I'd been busy all damn day, between work and class and taking care of my relative's pets and taking care of my own pets, and driving halfway to North Carolina and back to get all of that done, and after being on the road all damn day yesterday, it felt like I hadn't had any real time to do anything at all for myself. I'm way short on quality sleep and way stressed out, so getting to sleep in the first place is becoming a huge challenge.

So I'm still upset even now, close to three hours after the fact even though I know shouldn't be upset, and I should just let it go. I've certainly done and said things that have upset her in the past, most of which I think I know about. At least I hope so. So I suppose it's just a matter of putting in effort to live with someone else; things like this will happen from time to time and if you're serious about being with someone, someone who is a human being and just as falliable as yourself, then you have to learn to when and how to let just plain go of some things. So I will try and let go myself.

And I'll try to get some shut-eye at last. That may help my mood tomorrow. The Wife seems better able to fall asleep at will than I. I wish I knew her secret. Ah, what am I saying? Everyone I know is better at falling asleep than me. I'm the guy staying up till midnight blogging because I can't fall asleep, after all.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Living with someone is a balance. And a bit of time helps put initially sharp barbs back in perspective. What worried me more was your comment about not being able to sleep. Maybe a short walk outside before bed, or a glass of red (for medicinal purposes only)

Burt Likko said...

Difficulty falling asleep is nothing new, Dad; I've had that problem since I was a teenager.

Pamela said...

I'm the same way Erik! I don't know if I think too much, but I have a hard time falling asleep. Andrew can fall asleep with out fail. It's just not fair!

Becky said...

I only wish I could fall asleep as easily as you think I do! I get up earlier than you, so I try to hit the sack at a reasonable hour. I find reading just before bed helps, and Sir Arnie's suggestion regarding medicinal red wine is always a good idea!

Pamela said...

ahhh red wine.....