Not A Potted Plant: I Really Must Be Tired

January 10, 2006

I Really Must Be Tired

I just read over last night's post. I haven't produced a blog entry that incoherent in a while. Sorry about that, Loyal Readers. But the concern about not having brought a tie to a deposition is very real.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: Actually, I enjoyed what I thought was deliberate surrealism on your part.

You really have to wear a tie to depositions in Tennessee? Back here, I'm satisfied if plaintiff attorneys wear pants.

Hey, does this mean that *book* is real, too?; 1/10/2006 8:48 AM
Burt Likko said...: Aging Is A Choice is really a project that The Great Man is working on. He also believes it to be true. Of course, choosing not to age seems to involve a lot of bizarre (and expensive) medical procedures and supplements.; 1/11/2006 5:30 AM
Anonymous said...: Hey, sanity is a choice.; 1/11/2006 8:25 AM

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Transplanted Lawyer FAQ:

Q: Why do you write under a pseudonym? And why did you pick “Burt Likko” as that pseudonym?
A: If I were writing under my real name, I might have to be more circumspect in offering provocative opinions. “Burt Likko” is an inside joke left over from an old friend of mine’s name being mangled by a careless person over the phone. If you don't get the joke, you aren't intended to. Move along, please.

Q: Where have you been transplanted from?
A: I started out in California. Then I went to Tennessee. Then I came back to California.

Q: What’s the “Potted Plant” thing all about?
A: The phrase “not a potted plant” comes from a famous quip made by a prominent lawyer named Brendan Sullivan while representing Oliver North, before a Congressional hearing in the late 1980's. It stuck with me.

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A: I like it.

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A: That’s not a question.

Q: Jeez, you really are a lawyer. Why don’t you write every day?
A: Some days I don’t feel like it. Some days I don’t have time. Other days, I do, and on those days, I write.

Q: I don’t find the [insert subject here] posts interesting.
A: So don’t read them. By the way, this is a list of “Frequently Asked Questions,” and that wasn’t a question.

Q: Why didn't you write about [insert subject here]?
A: There might by any of a number of reasons for that. Likely candidates include: 1) I haven't gathered enough information about [subject] to feel I have anything intelligent to say about it, 2) [subject] does not interest me at the moment, 3) I haven't found the time to write about [subject], or 4) pretty much everything that's needed to be said about [subject] can be found easily elsewhere. The internet is a big place and you should be able to easily find some discussion or coverage of [subject] if you can't find it here. I reject any moral judgments, whether explicit or implicit, concerning any failure, whether real or imagined, whole or partial, to comment on [subject]. If you think [subject] requires commentary that you do not believe is forthcoming here, well, Blogger and other similar services are 100% free and there is nothing to stop you from commenting on it yourself in your own forum.

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A: No.

Q: Why don’t you refer to your wife by name?
A: For the same reason I don’t refer to myself by name.

Q: What do you mean by “childless by choice?”
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Q: Oh, come on. Everybody wants kids.
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Q: So why do you write about personal stuff at all?
A: Because some of my friends and family do read the blog and for them, it’s a good way to stay in touch with me. If you don’t know me personally, then I would expect that my day-to-day personal affairs are uninteresting to you.

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Q: Jesus Christ is my lord and personal savior. Can I give you my testimony?
A: No.

Q: What would convince you that God was real?
A: I strongly doubt that you can. Please don't try; I find such efforts tiresome.

Q: Why do you refer to God as Jehovah?
A: It's the proper name of the diety most people are referring to when they talk about "God." I use the name despite the Biblical injunction against doing so because I do not believe in or fear magic spells or incantations in any form.

Q: You sometimes capitalize “God” and “Jesus.” That’s proof that you think they’re real and that they’re divine, isn’t it?
A: No, it’s not.

Q: So you were a Catholic, is that why you don’t believe in God anymore?
A: What exactly does that question imply? As far as I can tell, Catholics are every bit as likely as Protestants to be morally good people. If you can understand why I would reject the Roman Catholic Church’s particular flavor of mumbo-jumbo, then it shouldn’t be that big a leap for you to understand why I disbelieve in your church’s mumbo-jumbo, too.

Q: Evolution is just another kind of religion. Believe in it if you want, but it isn’t real.
A: You’re entitled to your opinion, of course. But you’re profoundly incorrect. A “religion” by definition involves the relationship of a person with at least one supernatural entity. Evolution, by its very terms, eschews reference to supernatural causal factors with respect to the question of the manner in which biological organisms speciate over time. Evolution enjoys overwhelming support in the forms of the fossil record, species diversity, and the ongoing, observable phenomenon of speciation.

Q: Speciation has never happened.
A: Yes it has.

Q: Where do you get your pictures?
A: Generally from Wikimedia Commons, XKCD or FARK.

Q: Don’t you think that Feedjit thing is creepy?
A: No. I think it’s cool.

Q: Didn’t your recent post on [subject] overlook [important fact]?
A: Maybe it did. That’s what the “comments” section is for.

Q: Do you ever admit that you’re wrong?
A: Yes.

Q: Why the Green Bay Packers?
A: Because my family’s roots are in Wisconsin. I’ve rooted for the Packers since I was a little boy.

Q: I think you’re really a [something].
A: Oh.

Q: Why do you post recipes?
A: Life is lived best with good food and good wine enjoyed amongst good friends. When I cook, and it turns out well, I like to share the joy that brings. If food, cooking, and recipes do not interest you, skip the posts about them.

Q: You really hate Sarah Palin, don’t you?
A: No, I don’t. I admire that she achieved high political office at a relatively young age. She has charisma above and beyond her good looks and seems to be a basically likeable and appealing person and would probably be a great dinner guest. I respect that she is protective of her family. But she’s a) too socially conservative for my taste, and b) not been able to demonstrate a thorough enough grasp of public policy issues I care about to be the kind of President I would like.

Q: Do you think this blog got you dooced out of your job in Tennessee?
A: It certainly didn’t help. But I've no regrets about that.

Q: Why do you hate Tennessee so much?
A: I don’t hate Tennessee at all! Tennessee had some really good things going for it. Its politicians have figured out how to provide for an adequate state government without any income tax -- California should take a lesson from them. It’s beautiful and green. Housing was affordable. We made and still have some very good friends. I think it's something of a disadvantage there to not be (or at least claim to be) a Baptist, though. And I got a great offer to return to California.

Q: If you could be any kind of a tree, what would it be, and why?
A: Anything in a national park. That would minimize my chances of being turned into furniture.

Q: For someone who claims to not have a television, you sure seem to know a lot about what’s happening on TV.
A: The internet is a remarkable thing.

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January 10, 2006

I Really Must Be Tired

3 comments:

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January 10, 2006

I Really Must Be Tired

3 comments:

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