Social Networking Research

So I'm opening up a new file and one of the things involved is a background check on the plaintiff. This includes checking the plaintiff out on Facebook. I farm this out to my young assistant. She reports that the plaintiff has no Facebook profile. Damn. My assistant says, "You want dirt on the plaintiff? Let's check out Myspace."

I ask her, "Does anyone even use Myspace anymore?"

She says, "Yeah, sluts use it all the time. The only reason anyone gets on Myspace anymore is to hook up with a stranger for random sex." She logged on. "Okay, no, your plaintiff doesn't have a Myspace account either, but see? In the fifteen seconds I've been logged on, I've got three friend requests from guys twice my age. Ugh, they all think I'm pretty. Eeeeww, yuck!"