Monday Night Blues

It's halftime between the Panthers and the Packers and Green Bay looks terrible. A guy got knocked out of the game, hit so hard he's being ambulanced to the hospital with his neck secured on a gurney. Favre has thrown one strike (the FSM's are leading and should win the week in the fantasy game, thanks in no small part to Eli Manning) and one credited interception, although I'd have scored it two by now. So the game is going terribly.

And home is going terribly. The tension around here is heavy and unpleasant. The Wife and I argued for nearly half an hour on the phone tonight. While everyone is pleasant and civil, there is less energy to our conversation and interaction and everything feels a little forced and stilted, like we're all trying hard to only talk about unimportant, trivial things.

I got week 1 of my class set up but that's about all I've had the mental focus to do. I'll do the rest over the next couple of days. I've been pretty much hiding down here in the basement with the dogs all night (now with the football game going on at least I have an excuse) so I don't have to deal with anything. I really should try to get some sleep but that will probably elude me. I like the dogs. Being with a beloved pet is simple -- you love and scratch and pet the dog, and the dog rubs up against you and licks your hand, and you look at each other and have that warm human-dog bond. People are much more complicated.

I used to be upset about things happening at work. I still am. Now I find that home provides little refuge or solace. The folks are being marvelous; they've fixed up nearly everything around the house that The Wife and I could not or did not. They want to do nice things for us and be good parents. The Wife wants to do nice things and be a good daughter-in-law. I want to do nice things and be a good husband and son. Everyone wants to get along. But it's not really happening and I don't know how we got to this unhappy place. I don't know or care whose fault it is anymore, I just want us to be a functional family again.

Well, Green Bay just came back on the field and did a pathetic-looking three-and-out. That's pretty much how this Monday has gone. Time for the TL to try and get a little REM time, although right now I'm wound up too tight right now for that to be a realistic plan.