Extreme Chef Burger

Made with a custom blend of three cuts of beef, pure beef fat, added umami in the form of dehydrated miso, and pressure-broiled (and insta-salamandered to give color), it'll set you back eighteen bucks before tax and tip. Now, it's faintly ridiculous to pour this much molecular gastronomy into making a burger. You take the meat, you grind it up, you put it on the fire, it tastes good. But, um, I want to try one of these.