The Cat-O-Matic 3000: Cruelty or Convenience?

I don't quite know how to feel about this device:

I know for sure that our cats would quite simply freak out. The one cat is traumatized when you try and adjust her collar. But it's the other cat, the big longer-haired one, who can't, or more likely won't, clean herself properly or completely, who really needs this.

I would never want to be cruel to the critters. And doing something the critter dislikes is not necessarily being cruel. This gives me some pause, though. Still, it sure is tempting to think that there's a way to wash the cat that won't result in The Wife or I getting permanent scars on our arms, chest, and face. What do you think, Loyal Readers?