A Tool Of Ultimate Evil

Grants, New Mexico

While I'm still pleased with the Land of Enchantment I'm not so happy with the night's sleep we got here. The dogs barked at everything that moved in the hallway at night, waking us up. They became agitated for no particular reason and The Wife and I took them out for a walk at three in the morning. Then at about 5:20 in the morning, the alarm clock went off.

In a hotel, an alarm clock can be a dangerous thing and it is very inconsiderate to leave the hotel alarm clock set, particularly for an early hour. That is because when it awakes the next guest to stay in the room, that person is awoken suddenly and from a deep sleep. This causes tremendous disorientation, comparable to being drunk except without the euphoria. Rather, the emotion induced by a sudden unpleasant and loud noise awakening one from sleep is panic.

Hotel alarm clocks are, by definition, going to be unfamiliar to the guests unless those guests have taken the time to study their operation previously. Cheap alarm clocks such as are often found in hotel rooms tend to have small, poorly-marked controls. So when the alarm goes off and unleashes a twangy barrage of unintelligible country music, the guest fumbles around in the dark to try and turn the stupid thing off. Hitting buttons at random and moving levers at random to no avail, the guest then becomes angry and turns on the lights, awaking and agitating every living thing in the room. Further fumbling around with incomprehensible controls results only in dramatically and suddenly increasing the volume of the steel pedal guitar, which in turn angers and upsets the person so rudely treated.

An effective resolution to this very upsetting situation was determined, this morning at least, only after the mind of the guest in question had been sufficiently stimulated by all this unpleasantness with the epiphany of unplugging the damned thing. A flash of frustration-induced rage existed when the first plug to be disconnected did nothing to end the torture of the loud country music but instead gave a small tingle of electric charge to the recently-awakened hotel guest. Relief came at the second plug, however, and the fourth or fifth short nap of the night could begin.

An alarm clock is a tool of great power and effect. In the wrong hands, it can become a tool of oppression most foul. Should you, Loyal Reader, stumble across one of these objects, I beg of you to use the power which has been given to you wisely, and never for evil.