January 3, 2011

Sleep Eludes

A snowy night last night was completely wasted. There's nothing like snowfall to dampen the sounds of the outside world -- everything is quiet and peaceful, in a way that rainfall never is. We get so little rain, and even less snow, here in the desert; you'd have thought I would have enjoyed at least that part of its benefits. But no. I did enjoy stepping outside to watch the stuff fall, which is pleasant enough when it happens in quantities of only a few inches.

Even tonight, as I try to shake off the effects of one nearly-sleepless night, I find myself tired but unable to sleep.

Stress from work and other mental stimulus from throughout the day, minor bodily aches and discomforts, and the cycle of thirst and bladder conspire to keep me awake while my wife and my animals all slumber in peace and good health. Reading is sometimes effective, but oft enough I read something mentally stimulating and challenging, which only makes me even more awakes. One thing I know is counter-productive, but I cannot help myself, is writing or reading on the computer -- the computer screen is stimulating and tiring at the same time to the eyes and computer use seems to induce an agitated mental state. But after I've read enough, there is not much else to do when Morpheus hides, out of my grasp.

I know I'm not without company. Friends often complain about a lack of sleep, too. I found myself trading notes on sleeping pills at a party. I try to avoid the pills, in part because I know one can become dependent on them and that's dangerous after one builds up a tolerance, and in part because the morning after taking one I have a hard time getting the lead out and shaking off the lassitude the pill induces. Sleep is necessary for good health, happiness, and productivity, so I should put a premium on getting it. But I can never find the right time to hit the sack -- The Wife gets up two hours before I do so I only rarely turn in at the same time as she; but two hours after she goes to bed I find myself not tired at all.

I find myself yawning until tears are released, and I shall hope for release and some measure of rest before another morning in court.

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