Reached my limits

This is an embarrassing post to write. But, the truth is that I'm going to need professional help fixing the lawn mower. After two hours on my back in the garage, it is clear that the broken belt cannot be replaced without performing major surgery on the blade-pan and I just don't have the tools or the facilities for it. There's a double pin and a cable for the brake, and I can't remove them.

After talking it over with Dad, it is clear that I simply don't have the time to do it anyway -- even if I do have the abilities. So I'll now have to get it taken to a shop for professional help.

In a way it feels like I've failed; I've tried to get the thing fixed and gone to the limits of my mechanical abilities. I admit that those limits are not as extensive as some other men might have, but still fixing things seems like the sort of thing a man should be able to do. Having to acknowledge that I don't have this ability is a little emasculating. Still, what choice do I have? The lawn grows every day; it seems like there is another inch of grass grown every day. So the mower has got to get fixed, whether it hurts my pride or not.

I can console myself that I can generally fix a software problem on the computer. I can generally hook up electronic equipment properly (albeit with some difficulty when the instruction manual is incorrect). I can spit and talk football and scratch myself. So I'm not entirely deficient in the manly arts.